So I’m pretty sure some of you are at least a little curious to know how this whole diet thing turned out for me. I had my meeting with Carol the Nutritionist this afternoon and at my weigh-in I had lost . . . 7 pounds! And that was without any exercising because I just couldn’t muster up the energy to do any of that this last week. Carol’s words at that were: “Think of how much more you would have lost if you had exercised!” And yet, I have no regrets about taking it easy because I genuinely didn’t have it in me.
For the record, if anyone cares to know how much trouble I’m in with the weight issue, that puts me at 225 pounds. But it’s a start and that’s what I was really looking for, more than a massive weight loss. It would have been super cool to lose a lot of weight, and I’m tickled by a >5 pound loss in a week, but I still have a long way to go. My goal healthy weight is around 140 pounds.
To that end, Carol and I talked about what my diet goals need to be. And, in short, it’s restrictive. The foods I can eat are fruits, non-starchy vegetables, and lean protein. No dairy. No carbs. No sugar. No bread. No rice. No potatoes. No cheese. Until I can get my weight down where it needs to be, I need to stay clear away from those things. Once I’m down where I need to be and have learned how to eat healthy foods and in correct portions, then I can look at adding carbs back into my diet, but until then . . . nada.
It’s going to be really, really hard. And I know I’m going to have cheat days, but they have to be few and far between. Of course, I’m starting out with a cheat day tomorrow—I’m going to have bread because I just can’t stop dreaming about it. But I have to learn how to get appropriate carbs from fruits and veggies, instead of flour.
And that, honestly, is frustrating. I don’t especially want to do it. But nothing else I’ve done has worked. And I’m really sick and tired of weighing so much more than my husband. And my clothes not fitting right. And being embarrassed to wear a swim suit. And wondering if I’m the fattest girl in the room. And not being able to run. And hating photographs taken of me.
And that . . . is all I have to say about that.