My emotions are sitting high to the surface today. Not that they don’t usually. People in my department can tell how I’m doing on a given day just by the way I walk through the hall. I’m not especially good at keeping things down low. I try. And I’ve gotten better. But let’s face it—I fail.
And I am cranky today. What I really want to do is sit here and rant about all the things that are making me grumpy today. I could go on and on. Everything from this stupid wheat-free diet to Justin’s stupid doctor’s office making him call me instead of calling the insurance themselves to ask about the copay to my stupid navel bleeding *behind* the piercing but not *from* the piercing. Believe me, you’re only hearing the tip of the irritation. And my poor husband, who left his 10:15 doctor’s appointment in Savannah at 12:30 and who was still waiting at 3:30 to get his lab work finished at the clinic near home, keeps hearing me ranting and this awful tone while he’s exhausted and dealing with all that stupidness. STOOOOOOOOOPID.
But you know what? I’m not going to rant about my irritation. I’m not going to list out all the things that are bothering me today. Instead, I’m having another cup of coffee, just because I know I shouldn’t, with as much (wheat & dairy free) creamer and sugar as I like. I’m sitting here enjoying my very sweet cup of coffee, enjoying the luxury of it, taking a moment away from my irritating work projects to write this to ya’ll. I’m writing “ya’ll” because I like it and I don’t care if it makes me southern because, dang it all, I’ve lived in the south for more than 5 years now and I’m allowed that luxury. I’m also allowed to put things “up” instead of “away” and I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense.
If I start saying “I might could do that,” though? Smack me.
Where was I going?
I’m going to finish up a project that has nothing to do with my primary projects but is something that will help a coworker and is enjoyable. I’m going to clean up a few things on my desk and get tidy. I’m going to leave work promptly at 5:00 and go home. I’m going to enjoy the thought that I’m taking a vacation day on Friday so I can sleep in on my birthday. And I’m going to find, somewhere in this mess of a day, 5 things that I’m grateful for today. Like coffee. And pink soap.
And at the very end, I’m going to pull on comfortable pajamas, curl up in bed, and go to sleep, praying that tomorrow turns out better than today. That I don’t wake up so tired to such a gloomy mood with so many stupid things to deal with.
My coffee cup’s empty. Time to move on.