Archive for February 16th, 2009

TV makes me cry.

Monday, February 16th, 2009

NCIS, the show that I love but only watch upstairs in the bedroom, which means I never actually save it on the DVR thing so am only able to watch it when I find it playing on real-time TV, is wonderful, but it makes me cry.  I’ve been watching it for a while and, because I only watch it when I find it, totally out of sequence and totally at random.  And I’ve seen two characters get killed.  And both times, even though I really haven’t spent a lot of time with these characters and haven’t seen their character developed in any sort of rational sequence and so really don’t know them very well at all, have made me absolutely cry like a little baby.  Quietly so I can watch the show, but with snot dripping down my face because, dang it!  They made Abby cry again!  And me!  And McGee is all sweet and Tony’s all angry and Gibbs is fierce and gonna avenge them.  And I just want to sit with Abby and her farting stuffed hippopotamus and cry!

This is how I know it’s a good show.

When Justin and I were working our way through Buffy, we hit the episode called “The Body” and if you’re at all familiar with the show you know why I’m bringing it up.  I bawled and bawled after that.  Like, sat on the couch shaking while Justin whispered comforting things in my ear bawled my eyes out.  And Whedon did that to me so many times–when Amber died, when Oz left, when Fred died, when Wash died in the movie, again and again and again.

Good TV.  But rough on me.

I have no idea where I’m headed with this.  Just that I got done with NCIS a few minutes ago and, after sniffing a few times, giving Justin a kiss and a hug, and poking at my computer a few minutes, I wanted to write about it.

It’s been an unpleasant couple of days.  We’ve been sick.  Not anything diagnosable or something we can medicate and just be done and over with, but this awful, lingering nastiness that just won’t shake.  Justin’s eye infection came back with a vengeance and he’s seen both our ophthalmologist and his internist about it.  They’re running more blood work to see what they can see, but until then, he’s putting in eye drops and wearing an eye patch when light gets too painful.  And taking Advil to deal with the headaches.  I’m eating cough drops and drinking tea trying to keep my voice and pull the cold out of my chest, so very tired most of the time.  I don’t want to talk about Valentine’s Day.

Still, things aren’t too bad.  Our insurance is fantastic.  One of the prescriptions we picked up on Saturday didn’t even have a copay.  We’re both still able to work.  Justin can even work from home, which is great.  My birthday is in a couple days and I’m completely avoiding the normal freak-out when I get all depressed and think that no one’s going to remember or care.  Yeah, I do that.  I’m pretty sure I mentioned it last year.

I took out my navel ring tonight.  I looked at it while in the ladies room at work earlier today and realized that it was bleeding.  Not from the piercing itself, which isn’t uncommon for me, but from a split in the skin behind the piercing.  It’s migrated forward leaving a funky little trail behind it and that trail had split and was bleeding.  It never really healed, though.  The piercing itself has always oozed and been, frankly, a little gross.  Kinda smelly.  I showed it to Justin and we agreed that it was probably best if I just took it out.  Let it heal up.  Get it done again later on if I want.

So I took it out.  Stiiiiiiinky!  Wow, I didn’t expect it to smell like that.  And then I soaked it little, peroxized it a little, put Neosporin on it.  It feels really weird.  I’ve had that little metal rod in my belly for how long now?  Just over three year I think.  Now it’s this hard little knot with little purple holes in my flabby, flabby belly.  Too much?  Sorry about that.  But I miss it a little!  It’s a good call, pulling it out and letting it heal up.  But it’s a little sad.  Gillian, Sara, and I all got those done and mine was the last one to come out.  I can’t remember if Sara got her’s done again or not.

Anyway.  I’m just in a weird mood, tired, not feeling great.  And it’s about 10:00 so I’m going to go take my vitamin and curl up in bed with my book for a while before falling asleep with the light on.  I’ll think of 5 Grace things in the morning.  And I’ll catch up with ya’ll again in the sunshine of tomorrow.

Good night!

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Ugh. Enough with today already.

Monday, February 16th, 2009

My emotions are sitting high to the surface today.  Not that they don’t usually.  People in my department can tell how I’m doing on a given day just by the way I walk through the hall.  I’m not especially good at keeping things down low.  I try.  And I’ve gotten better.  But let’s face it—I fail.

And I am cranky today.  What I really want to do is sit here and rant about all the things that are making me grumpy today.  I could go on and on.  Everything from this stupid wheat-free diet to Justin’s stupid doctor’s office making him call me instead of calling the insurance themselves to ask about the copay to my stupid navel bleeding *behind* the piercing but not *from* the piercing.  Believe me, you’re only hearing the tip of the irritation.  And my poor husband, who left his 10:15 doctor’s appointment in Savannah at 12:30 and who was still waiting at 3:30 to get his lab work finished at the clinic near home, keeps hearing me ranting and this awful tone while he’s exhausted and dealing with all that stupidness.  STOOOOOOOOOPID.

But you know what?  I’m not going to rant about my irritation.  I’m not going to list out all the things that are bothering me today.  Instead, I’m having another cup of coffee, just because I know I shouldn’t, with as much (wheat & dairy free) creamer and sugar as I like.  I’m sitting here enjoying my very sweet cup of coffee, enjoying the luxury of it, taking a moment away from my irritating work projects to write this to ya’ll.  I’m writing “ya’ll” because I like it and I don’t care if it makes me southern because, dang it all, I’ve lived in the south for more than 5 years now and I’m allowed that luxury.   I’m also allowed to put things “up” instead of “away” and I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense.

If I start saying “I might could do that,” though?  Smack me.

Where was I going?

I’m going to finish up a project that has nothing to do with my primary projects but is something that will help a coworker and is enjoyable.  I’m going to clean up a few things on my desk and get tidy.  I’m going to leave work promptly at 5:00 and go home.  I’m going to enjoy the thought that I’m taking a vacation day on Friday so I can sleep in on my birthday.  And I’m going to find, somewhere in this mess of a day, 5 things that I’m grateful for today.  Like coffee.  And pink soap.

And at the very end, I’m going to pull on comfortable pajamas, curl up in bed, and go to sleep, praying that tomorrow turns out better than today.  That I don’t wake up so tired to such a gloomy mood with so many stupid things to deal with.

My coffee cup’s empty.  Time to move on.

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