Picture this….

A young, professional woman takes her lunch break outside, sitting on a short retaining wall made of reused, bleached-out railroad ties.  She’s careful to maintain her modesty while sitting in a skirt.  She reads a magazine for a couple minutes before calling her husband.

Partially through her conversation with her husband, she feels a sharp, uncomfortable pain in a sensitive part of her inner thigh.  She shifts slightly, wondering how she managed to get a splinter from the ties in such an unlikely place.  Instead of easing the pain, however, the movement increases the pain significantly.  She stands up and looks at where she had been sitting and sees a steady, swiftly moving line of red ants running up the side of the retaining wall.

She exclaims loudly to her husband, “I just got bit by an ant in my crotch!” thus completely ruining the professional look she had going on, but thankfully no one was within earshot.  Which also meant that no one was around while she stood there swatting at her inner thigh to remove any remaining ants crawling around.

Unable to pay any further attention to her husband at that point, so distracted by the pain in such a sensitive area, she says, “I think I need to go back inside now” and ends the conversation.  Picking up her magazine and wrap, she gives them each a couple good shakes to remove any ants, and swiftly retreats back to her desk.  She pulls out her first aid kit and retreats further to the ladies restroom.  There she inspects the area and applies an antiseptic and anti-itch lotion on a bite the width a pencil eraser and twice as long.  (This from an ant about the size as the end of a mechanical pencil.)

Lesson of the day:  Skirts can be dangerous to your health.

6 thoughts on “Picture this….”

  1. I can picture the whole scene. How awful! You moved quickly and decisively though. I would like to have you around in an emergency 🙂

    1. It was mostly annoying. It hurt, but I couldn’t believe the little pests had done such a thing. I even stood there and asked, “What’d I do to upset you guys?!”

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