How to make the best corn ever

And no, I’m not supposed to eat corn, but done this way, how can I resist?!

  1. Buy corn on the cob, with the husks still on.
  2. Buy a small charcoal grill.
    1. Okay, if you like gas, use gas, and if you want a larger grill, use a larger grill, but the rest of my information is all going to assume that you’re using a small, charcoal grill.
  3. Keeping the husks on the corn, cut off most of the hair and most of the “stem” at the bottom of the corn.
  4. Soak the corn for at least an hour, longer if possible, in a big pot of ice cold water.
  5. Start your grill.  If you’re not familiar with that process, this is what I recommend:
    1. Buy a bag of briquettes that don’t require lighter fluid.
    2. Pile 30 or so of those briquettes in a pile in the grill.  (Also note:  the coals go ABOVE the little grill that sits at the bottom.  And make sure that the holes at the bottom of the bowl are open.)
    3. Light that on fire and watch the flames go leaping.  (Remember:  Always watch an open flame.  Never leave it unattended and ALWAYS have a plan in case of unexpected flamage.)
    4. Once the flames have calmed down so they’re not higher than the bowl of the grill and the briquettes are nice and white, spread them out a little bit with long fire-proof tongs.
    5. Put on the other grill that goes above the coals.  Congratulations! You started a grill!
  6. Once your grill is nice and hot, take the corn out of the ice water.  Shake off some of the water and put them on the grill.
  7. Put on the lid (make sure the holes at the top of the lid are OPEN) and wait 10 minutes.  (Call your mom.)
  8. Turn the corn.  Wait another 10 minutes.  (Talk with your mom some more.  Watch the fireflies in the backyard.)
  9. Turn the corn.  Wait another 10 minutes.  (Finish talking with your mom and call your husband downstairs to see the fireflies, too.)
  10. After your 30 minutes are up, take the corn off the grill.  If it looks a little burned around the edges, don’t worry — it’s going to taste EXCELLENT.
  11. At this point, if you’re already cheating at your diet by eating the corn, this is where you would VERY CAREFULLY husk the corn and eat it with great gusto!  Yum!  Sweet and juicy corn!
  12. If you’re actually able to eat things like cheese, do this:
    1. Take a good chunk of feta cheese (1/3 cup or so) and mix it so it’s nice and loose (if it’s a brick, otherwise buy it already loose — this makes it a lot easier)
    2. Add slightly less sour cream than the feta.
    3. Add a couple shakes of some lemon salt, peppers, and garlic seasonings (or, better, Mediterranean sea salt mix from McCormick)
    4. Spread this all over corn.  It’ll look kinda weird, but it will taste SO GOOD.

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