I have the time right now because (1) I’M NOT WORKING TODAY!!  This is a Good Thing.  The (2) reason is also part of why I’m not at work and that’s because I seriously hurt my back somehow and I spent most of the evening yesterday and so far this morning laying on an ice pack and waiting for the pain to go away.

I can’t remember if it was Sunday or Monday morning, but I got up with a bit of an ache in my back.  We went to the chiropractor’s on Tuesday and they adjusted me and worked on that spot and when I went home, it felt improved, but not better.  Wednesday, it got gradually worse, and Thursday it was awful.  I spent a lot of the day trying to find ways to move that didn’t make that spot hurt and then sitting on an ice pack that I borrowed from a coworker.  Unfortunately, I also spent a lot of the day (and most of the previous days this week) running around like a headless chicken in a flock of headless chickens trying to get work done.  We did manage to get the projects complete, but there was shouting and slamming doors and bickering — so much bickering.  And lots of running around.  And there’d be times when I’d be walking and take a turn swiftly and gasp a little because it hurt.  Or I’d stand up from my desk and just that movement would make me gasp from the pain.

So I went back to the chiropractor’s office and told him “The pain! Make it stop!” and he adjusted me again.  And then he had me lie with wedges under my hips keeping me aligned for several minutes with the cold laser on my back and then I got to lie on the traction bed before lying on the biomat for a while, too.  And by the time I left, I was able to move without as much pain, but there is still a lot of pain.  I have an appointment again this afternoon.  But until then, I’m lying on an ice pack and taking Advil and waiting for the pain to stop.

Normally, on my first day off from work, I’d spend most of the morning sleeping.  Especially since I woke up around 2 and didn’t fall back asleep until close to 4 because I was too uncomfortable to fall back asleep.  But the trash men woke me up with their noise and the pain has kept me wide awake since then.  So I’m sitting on a recliner downstairs, surrounded by all 5 of the sofa pillows, ice pack on my low back, blanket over top, typing this to all of you.  I was going to watch TV, but I wanted to write this out before I sunk into that distraction.  Hopefully the TV will help me forget to pay attention to the pain, but it really is a time sucker.

Anyway, that’s the story of my back.  No idea, really, how I hurt it so badly.  It’s like my collarbone.  Still no idea how I managed to hurt that.  My chiropractor keeps saying that these types of injuries are the kind that people get when they’re in car accidents or brawls.  I keep trying to convince him that I’m not getting up in the night and fighting crime in my sleep.  He’s not convinced.

Anyway!  The point was that it was cold!  And maybe I would have handled the temperature better if two days ago it hadn’t been in the 80s.  I mean, we went from highs in the 80s to highs in the 60s in the course of an afternoon.  It was warmer yesterday at 6:00 in the morning than it was at 4:00 in the afternoon.  That’s just not right!

So, obviously, the only solution is to make a trip up to the cold northern climes to reacclimatize myself to the temperatures, so yesterday Justin and I got tickets to make that trip.  I put our information about that on the forum on Erica’s website so interested parties can see that.  I’m looking forward to the trip!

Part of that excitement might be because it has been absolutely insane around here lately.  I don’t even have the time to go over how crazy it’s been, but trust me – crazy.  And my back is killing me.  And my addiction to the Layton franchise is going strong.  And I’m starting a new diet in order to lose a little weight before our trip up north.  And all of these things I should write about, but I don’t have the time right now because things are just so darn crazy.

But I’ll try to do something soon.  Like maybe I’ll actually take a Friday and not work!  Maybe . . . .

Justin is sick.  He caught something Sunday and has been down for the count Monday and today.  Which means he’s slept most of the day, up for about 3 hours during the day, and then he’s up in the evening for a while.  The sheets are in the washing machine as I type this.  They were smelling distinctly “slept in,” if you know what I mean.

I’m having one of those weeks at work where I wonder why I’m doing what I’m doing instead of something that actually might make a difference, like massage therapy.  Or teaching yoga.  Or running a book store.  Something that has a feeling of accomplishment involved, instead of this repeated frustration of doing the same task for every project that has to be checked off the list of requirements but that no one really cares to look through except me.  I’m getting really tired of it.  And I work for a good company that treats the employees well, with good pay and great benefits and I can’t complain that there’s any hardship involved with what I do at all.  It’s just that the whole points of what I’m doing for the company doesn’t seem to make a lick of difference and I’m tired of spending 40 hours a week doing something that doesn’t matter.

And that’s all nothing but grumpiness.

I’ve been really wanting to decorate the house for fall (even though it’s still really hot here) so here are a couple pictures of ideas I saw and liked.

(I actually did these candles last year and they turned out super cute.)

What that looks like is this:  Today I’ve had unsweetened applesauce, a Cobb salad, an apple, carrots, a sugar-free Peppermint Patty, and sunflower seeds.  For dinner we’re having Manwich, which I’ll put over squash.  And then I’ll have a sugar-free ice cream bar.  Yesterday’s dinner was a huge salad with a hard boiled egg, strawberry, sunflower seeds, and dressing.  But Monday’s dinner was pizza, boneless wings, and a bread stick, which I enjoyed completely – and was the reason why I ate mostly vegetables all Tuesday.

It’s a process.  Some days are easier than others.  But it’s working, as evidenced by the -15 pounds, and I can feel it when my body doesn’t like what I’ve been eating – mostly by the twitching in my legs when I’ve got too much sugar in my system.  It’s really annoying.

Anyway, we’re pretty sure we can get phone service in the house most of the time now, so feel free to call if you’d like.  That’s a really random transition, but it was the topic of the last couple posts here, so I figured I should follow up on that item, too.

In other news, it’s hot.  And the weather keeps saying that it’s going to rain.  Every day, the little icon for thundershowers shows up on my calendar.  But every day I go home on bone dry roads, leaving my umbrella in my office in case I need it tomorrow.  We need the rain.  The backyard is brown and crunchy.  Vines in a pot that I ignored have completely dried up and died.  I think even the bugs have given up on finding anything alive in our backyard.  Justin and I look out at it and say, “We should really water that,” but we don’t do it very often because it’s such a waste of water.  And besides, the weather says it’s going to rain tomorrow.  I’ll be sure to have my umbrella ready.

Justin and I went to the beach last Saturday afternoon and spent several hours enjoying that.  It’s a long process to initiate, so we have to enjoy it for several hours to make it worth it.  After all, there’s packing the car and making sure we have everything we need; there’s the 90 minute or so drive; there’s the pulling everything from the car, walking to a place on the beach, and setting everything up; and then there’s the thorough application of sunscreen.  In the end, our encampment involves 2 umbrellas, 2 lounge chairs, towels, sunscreen, a couple books, possibly some food, definitely something to drink, 2 boogie boards, and a wrap for me if/when I get cold.  And after we’ve enjoyed the beach, we have to take it all apart, walk it back to the car, drive all the way back home, unpack the car, and then shower all the sand out of our hair.  It takes time, so the time in between had better be worth all the trouble.

And it usually is.  Saturday was definitely no exception.  We got there as the tide was coming in, so we set up really far back on the sand so we wouldn’t have to worry about the water.  Because the tide was incoming, the waves were fantastic (for this part of the coast) and we spent a good amount of time splashing around in the water.  It takes a while for me to get over my anxiety of the water — I worry about getting out too far and not being able to make it back in and I worry about not being able to touch the bottom and I worry about getting attacked by jellyfish or other sea creatures.  But Justin is patient and eventually I relax and we have a blast.  Saturday, I got tired more quickly than he did (plus, I had to take a break after I get a lot of water up my nose) so I spent time in the shade while he kept on playing. Which is why he ended up with an impressive sunburn while I didn’t.

So we spent a chunk of time in the water and then a chunk of time on shore, reading in the shade of our umbrellas, and then more time in the water.  And the whole time, the tide was coming in.  The crowds started thinning out as there was less and less beach above water level.  And the people who were staying had to keep a close eye on their things to make sure that they didn’t lose anything to the waves.  Every now and then there’d be a cry of “Oh, no!” as someone’s towel got soaked by a far-reaching wave.  Justin eventually moved all our stuff to the grassy bank behind us — the sand where we were sitting runs up to a part of the beach that’s suddenly about 2 feet higher and covered in marsh grass.  So he put everything up on that so it’d be sure to stay dry.  And then we just sat there as the waves came closer and closer to our chairs and then under our chairs and then sunk the chairs in the sand several inches as the water washed past.  It was so cool!  And really relaxing.  And Justin packed up the car while I sat there enjoying it and then we dug my chair out of the sand and went home.  Where we covered his upper torso with lots and lots of aloe.

It was a great day!

For the record, if anyone cares to know how much trouble I’m in with the weight issue, that puts me at 225 pounds.  But it’s a start and that’s what I was really looking for, more than a massive weight loss.  It would have been super cool to lose a lot of weight, and I’m tickled by a >5 pound loss in a week, but I still have a long way to go.  My goal healthy weight is around 140 pounds.

To that end, Carol and I talked about what my diet goals need to be.  And, in short, it’s restrictive.  The foods I can eat are fruits, non-starchy vegetables, and lean protein.  No dairy.  No carbs.  No sugar.  No bread.  No rice.  No potatoes.  No cheese.  Until I can get my weight down where it needs to be, I need to stay clear away from those things.  Once I’m down where I need to be and have learned how to eat healthy foods and in correct portions, then I can look at adding carbs back into my diet, but until then . . . nada.

It’s going to be really, really hard.  And I know I’m going to have cheat days, but they have to be few and far between.  Of course, I’m starting out with a cheat day tomorrow—I’m going to have bread because I just can’t stop dreaming about it.  But I have to learn how to get appropriate carbs from fruits and veggies, instead of flour.

And that, honestly, is frustrating.  I don’t especially want to do it.  But nothing else I’ve done has worked.  And I’m really sick and tired of weighing so much more than my husband.  And my clothes not fitting right.  And being embarrassed to wear a swim suit.  And wondering if I’m the fattest girl in the room.  And not being able to run.  And hating photographs taken of me.

And that . . . is all I have to say about that.

Two weeks ago I was still sick.  I rested through the weekend and went to work on Monday (3/7), still feeling it a little, but not so much that I was going to stay in bed again after being stuck in bed all week.  I love my bedroom, it gets great light and and there’s lots of blankets and pillows and I can read for hours or watch TV.  But by the end of being sick, I was DONE being in there.

Justin knows what I mean, because as soon as I got over the cold, he caught it.  Same symptoms: mild cough and nasel drip and some sneezing and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of sleeping.  He got frustrated with being in bed so much, too.

That week, while he was sick, I worked on trying to catch up on the work that I had missed the week before — I only worked 12 hours that whole week when I got sick.  So I worked more than 50 hours that next week to try to catch up.  I didn’t catch up.  So this whole week I’ve been trying to do that again.  I worked normal hours on Monday, but the rest of the week I’ve been working an extra hour each day.  And I’m here at work today, too.  I hope that I won’t need to be here all day, but we’ve been trying to get 3 airplanes delivered (one of them has 3 separate documents for me to complete) and I’m behind on getting preliminary documents out for airplanes down the road.  This week, I’ve completed 6 documents and I’m working on a 7th.

It’s been a heck of a week.

For a while there, I was hanging out with friends in the evenings and weekends.  This whole month, I’ve either been sick or I’ve been working.  I’m ready to be done with this schedule.

On the positive side, because there’s sunlight in the evening and because spring is in bloom here (Sorry, all you northerners!  You should come visit! Bring lots of allergy meds!), Justin and I have been going for walks when I get home.  We wander around the neighborhood mostly, not going very fast, just making sure to get outside and stretch our legs after sitting in front of computers all day long.  And it’s been a really enjoyable time, wandering around and babbling about books we’ve read and things in the news and other random things floating around in our brains.  I’ve enjoyed it so much that yesterday, even though we had a chiropractor appointment after I got home, I found a place where we could go for a walk before we hit a couple stores for things.  It’s a big patch of woods just off the main road.  With trails!  It’s just there, without much information about it and with no one in sight the whole time we walked around.  It’s the perfect place to go running, I think, because the trails are in pretty good condition and it’s wooded, so it’ll stay cool, and it’s beautiful!  I’m excited to go back there again.

And I’m hoping that next week will be significantly more quiet than this last week.  My intention is to work no overtime the whole week.  And to not have people asking when I’m going to finish something because I really need to have it done by such-n-such date so there’s time for review and oh, by the way, did I know about this really significant change to the scope of the project?

Anyway.  It’s the end of my lunch so I’ve got to get back onto this.  But that’s what’s been going on.  Life should calm down a little soon.  It’s either that or I make myself calm down and the rest of life can just carry on with the crazy by itself, thank you very much.

By the way, my shoulder is feeling more and more healed.  It still hurts when I move it certain ways and sleeping is still annoyingly paintful, but it doesn’t ache with that throbbing ache that it did a couple weeks ago.  I’m still icing it sometimes and I’m still taking it easy on that arm and we still have no idea how I managed to injure it in the first place, but it’s getting better.

Monday, my department moved from one side of the building to the other and considering all that has to happen with that (people to move the computers, people to move the boxes and bookshelves and file cabinets, people to move the phones) and the number of people moving (about 30) and trying to get some work done at the same time, it went surprisingly well.  My feet ached by the end of the day, but I think it was the most smooth move we’ve done yet.  I got lots of compliments on how well I got everybody organized.  It almost makes up for how frustrated I was getting at the end of the week when people kept interrupting me to answer their questions about why the printer still wasn’t working or where they could get keys for their desk or what to do about it being so cold on one half of the room (the other half is warm and part of the problem there is that the thermostat for the warm half of the room is actually out in the hallway, and the thermostat for the cold half of the room is broken — we’re working on it).  Anyway.  It was successful.  I went home, Justin rubbed my feet, I fell asleep sitting in a chair, but woke up in time to watch Castle.

Tuesday, I woke up and couldn’t move my right arm very well.  I couldn’t raise it up above my shoulder and it hurt.  All day, I kept on trying to solve moving issues and try to get a document completed that I’m really late to submit.  That evening we went to the chiropractor’s office for adjustments and he (actually, let me put in here that when I say “my chiropractor” I could mean one of three people — it’ s a family business, so it could be the father, his daughter, or his son — but it’s just easier to be non-specific) (in this case, it’s the son) fixed up my shoulder blade so I could move my arm, commenting that I “really messed it up.”  Trust me, it gets worse.  And afterward, we stayed behind for a health talk and free pizza.

I have no strong recollections of Wednesday, so it’s safe to say it was a lot like Tuesday.  Answering annoying questions while trying to get work done.  Not making it very far on my work, but resolving a lot of moving issues.  I did manage to make a good deal of progress on one aspect of the project, though, so that was good.  Unfortunately, my shoulder was still hurting.  And I spent the evening working on paying bills and balancing the checkbook.

Thursday I worked from 7am to 8pm and it was exhausting.  I had to finish up as much of my project as I could, so I eventually put on my headphones and put up a sign saying that I was trying to finish up this project, so please let me concentrate.  And I’m pretty sure that my lead started turning people away and telling them to let me work because I was able to get a lot of work accomplished without being interrupted.  I was still there after everyone left, but I managed to get it done and sent out for review and I might actually get it submitted before the middle of next week.  Still VERY late.  I went home, Justin drew me a bath, and I sat in the bath, reading, until after 10, when I got out and went to bed.

Friday, I slept in a little before going back to the chiropractor’s office again because my arm was feeling even worse.  He (the son, again) started poking at different spots on my shoulder to try to identify the problem.  Once he found the spot and I stopped gasping in pain from him poking a finger at it, he took his activator (hammer thing) and tried to put it back into place.  Once I stopped crying from the pain (seriously, it hurt SO MUCH! it was like an 8 on my pain scale), he put a cold laser on it and then gave me a cold pack and said that if it wasn’t feeling better by morning, I should come back in and he’d take an x-ray.

What I hurt, somehow, was my sternoclavicular joint, though I’ve got no idea how I really did that because usually it takes something like getting punched in the chest or something with a contact sport.  But let me tell you, it hurts.

I went to work after getting an ice pack from home and managed to get caught up on another project that I’d been neglecting all week and left after about 4 hours of working.  I went home, kept putting ice on my collarbone and relaxed.

I was still in pain this morning, (I keep moving wrong in my sleep and hurting it) though not as bad as the last couple days.  The constant pain has dulled down to a localized dull ache from a pressing pain across the whole shoulder and I have a lot more range of motion through my arm.  I still went back in and the chiropractor (son, again) took an x-ray.  It didn’t show anything, which was a little disappointing.  But I guess that’s still the better option rather than having something broken or obviously wrong.  He put the cold laser on it again, did NOT hit me with the activator (I think I might have punched him if he’d tried again), and told me to rest it and keep in icing it.

And that’s the plan.  Rest.  Ice.  Tomorrow I’m singing at church and Justin’s running the projector from the back.  Today we have no plans.  So I’m resting.

So.  I’m meeting with her again on Tuesday.   And I’ll meet with her again the week after that.  And I’ll keep on meeting with her every week until I’ve got a handle on this, at which time I’ll drop down to seeing her every other week.  And she’ll have me weigh-in on the scale in Medical.  And she’ll ask if I’ve been logging my food.  And what I’ve been doing to exercise.  And ask all the uncomfortable questions that someone apparently needs to ask me in order to keep me on track.

I cried in her office this afternoon just because I’m so frustrated.  And embarrassed.  And stressed.

Justin and I  walked through Best Buy yesterday just for the fun of seeing what cool toys were out (not that we could buy anything) and I tried out one of those new Kinect games.  The stupid thing takes pictures while you’re thrashing around like an idiot!  The pictures were so embarrassing.

Anyway.  I don’t really want to talk about it.  But, you know, it’s us.  And this is what we talk about with each other.  Plus, it’s what’s on my brain.

So there you have it.

My back and neck were all out of whack, so the chiropractor appointment was wonderful.  And then Justin and I went to the library and came home with at least 6 books apiece.  Bliss!

Today has been wonderfully relaxing.  We managed to sleep away the entire morning, which, in Justin’s case was because he was up until after 3, but in my case was just because I was SO TIRED.  I was really, really tired.

And then I’ve just been puttering around the house.  I finally put away the laundry that’s been in the dryer for several days.  I got my office put back in order.  I balanced the checkbook and got the receipts checked and organized (I’m so OCD sometimes — how many of you check your receipts against your checkbook/credit cards to make sure you’ve got them categorized right and you’re not missing any and then put them into envelopes for each month?).  That last bit took me most of the afternoon, but it’s been piling up and I’ve been meaning to get to it for ages.  It felt good to finally have it finished.  Justin worried because it was money stuff and today was supposed to be relaxing.  But it really didn’t feel like “work” to me.  It felt good and productive and the heaviness of that task lingering on my list has been relieved.  For another month or so, and then I’ll have to do it again.

Anyway, the last while has been spent curled up with a book, a blanket, and a hot pad.  Cramps.  Stupid, stupid cramps.  Yea for not being pregnant, but, really?  Do I have to feel so crummy?

I think it might be time to just go back to bed again.

After that, I went home (we rescheduled our Wednesday meeting to next week) and was completely exhausted for the rest of the evening.  Justin went out for a long run while I was at the Y and he was exhausted, too.  So we he threw together a quick dinner, and we spent the rest of the evening sitting with our computers.  He fixed my netbook, by the way!  I can’t remember what the problem was right now, but he cleaned out a bunch of stuff and reset the settings and now it works!  It’s wonderful!  We pulled my “nest” chair into his office a while ago so I can sit in there and do stuff while he’s working on his computer.  There are a lot of nights where there aren’t any lights on in the house except for in his office, and we’re both contentedly sitting in there.

Tonight we’re having company over for dinner.  I’m really nervous about it.  I’m worried that it’s going to be really awkward and not go well and it’ll be just awful.  And I’m also not going to be involved in preparing for it at all because I won’t get home until about 6:00 and they’re coming over between 6:30 and 7:00, so Justin’s going to make dinner and clean the house and get everything ready for the evening.  I’m a control freak and micromanager and not being involved with this at all requires that I just sit back and do nothing.  It’s more than a little nerve-wracking.  And it’s probably really good for me.  I should just relax and trust that Justin can take care of it, because I know that he can!  He’s a better cook than I am and more detailed at cleaning than I am!  So I really just need to chill.

And that’s pretty much the update for today.

Oh, hey!  We’re throwing a party at our house next Saturday and I’m looking for some good, but inexpensive ways, to decorate the house.  (I’m looking at you, Krista!)  I’m hoping to dip leaves and pine cones in wax over the weekend and I can string them up around, but I’ve never done it before and I’m not totally sure how it’s going to work out.  So I need more ideas!  We’ve got a wreath on the door already and a leafy tablecloth and a couple things of corn and pumpkin-shaped things around, but not very much.  What should I do?!