Today was my last weekday of not working.   I’ve got the weekend and then I’m back at work.  I’ve been depressed about it all day.  It’s been a wonderfully relaxing vacation.  I still haven’t worked out how we’re paying all our bills at the end of the month . . . .   But we’ll make it.  Creatively, I’m sure.

Anyway, I’m all kinds of grumpy so I’m going to head off and make some carbohydrate-heavy dinner and then relax.  Because I can. 

Cheers!

I’m back on the diet again after taking about a month off to handle with stress and not logging while we had company in town.  But I’ve been logging again for 15 days now and my scale at home (that’s not terribly accurate) gave me a whole long line of 0’s on Saturday that made me very excited.  It’s gone back up a couple pounds, but that’s what happens when I sit down with a bag of M&Ms on one day and a big plate of Kung Pao chicken the next.  But I thoroughly intend for it to be back down again by Saturday.  I might not make it down the full 50 pounds before my doctor appointment at the beginning of September, but I’m going to be pretty darn close!

I don’t know exactly how much weight I’m going to end up losing in the end, but my goal right now is to get my body fat percentage down around 25%.  Wherever I land poundage-wise is where I’ll end up, but I want to get that percentage down there.  I started at 42.2%.  Right now I’m at 38.2%.  Once I get under 32%, I’ll no longer be considered “obese” and THAT will be a very happy day. 

The car thing is an end as far as I know.  I finally called the claims department on Friday to ask what the progress was on the file and they told me that they had denied the claim.  Wohoo!!  I mean, the woman didn’t have a leg to stand on but it’s still nice to have things work out the way that they’re SUPPOSED to work.  I didn’t hit her, I shouldn’t have to pay for it.  And I’m not!

As far as I’m concerned, the matter is now closed.  She can try to appeal the decision or take me to small claims court, but the insurance is going to back me up if she does that.  I’m going to assume that she’s not going to be quite that desperate and just stop thinking about the whole thing.  And now I can finally try to get the paint off my car, since I’ve been waiting until everything was resolved to try to work on that.  Before I was just being lazy.  But now I have more motivation to get it off.

There are things happening in the job front that I’m not comfortable talking about right now.  You know that feeling like if you talk about it, you might jinx the whole thing?  THAT.  But hopefully I’ll have news for you there in a while.

I am still going to be briefly unemployed while the whole place shuts down for a couple weeks, but I’m looking forward to the time away from work.  It’ll be nice.  I’m hoping to get a bunch of projects done around the house.  Because, you know, there’s nothing like a vacation to get some work done around the house.  What?  Relax?  I don’t have time to relax!

In more trivial news, I’ve developed an allergy to my face lotion.  I’ve been using it for a while and I’m about halfway through this bottle, but the last few times I tried to use it, I broke out in hives.  It wasn’t pleasant.  My only hypothesis is that there’s almond oil in the lotion.  Of my nut allergies, almonds were pretty low on the list of reactions, so I picked up a box of cranberry-pomegranate granola bars (with almonds) and was eating one of those a day.  And then I broke out in hives from my lotion.  So I’m not eating the bars any more and I’m using aloe vera to moisturize my face, since we didn’t have anything else in the house that would work.  Avoidance is effective and I’m doing just fine.  But it’s kind of a bummer because I was fond of that lotion.

And to end on a more UP tone, I have a trip coming up to visit several people and I’m SO EXCITED about it!  I’ve mentioned it here before, but I’m still just beyond thrilled to get to take this trip.  I didn’t expect to be able to spend time with my siblings and it’s going to be so much fun!  Lots of people know about it, too, because I can’t stop talking about it.  I’ve already started my packing list—I’ve been trying to figure out how to pack everything in a carry-on so we don’t have to check our luggage.

But mostly, I just think, “I get to see the kidlets!”  “I get to see my siblings!”  “I get to see Grandma!”  “I get to see the Barnetts!”  And try to figure out how I could fit seeing more people into the tiny amount of time that we’ll be in each place.  Like Sara!  And Gillian!  And Mom and Dad!!

But before that, I’ve got 3 projects that need to be completely finished up before the end of this week and 3 other documents that need to be released and mailed off for approval before next Tuesday, at the absolute latest.  I have a lot of work to finish up.

I’m really excited for both of these encounters.  My exposure to the Barnett family has been pretty limited so far.  It’s been notable, to be sure—Grandpa Doug cut in on our first dance at our wedding, something that makes me laugh every time I think about it.  I guess after you’ve lived long enough, there are some social situations that simply don’t seem to apply anymore.  But most of my time spent with Justin’s family has been with people from his mother’s side of the family.  I’m really looking forward to seeing what it’s like on the other side of the tree.  My understanding is that we’re going to be spending the weekend at the family farm, sleeping in a trailer that’s been brought on site for a handful of us, while several other people sleep in the barn on cots.  It’s going to be interesting!

The other part of the trip is going to be spent with my paternal grandmother, and my maternal grandmother if she’ll see us.  I haven’t seen my paternal grandma since, I think, 2004, when she came up for my sister’s graduation.  I haven’t seen my other grandma since . . . I’m not even sure.  It’s probably been more than 10 years.

I started writing about memories that I have of each of my grandmas and, well, when I hit the third page of writing, I thought that maybe I shouldn’t put all of that up in one post.  So, if I can manage it, I’m going to write about some memories that I have of my grandparents over the next couple days.  Which makes this a post about a post that’s not up yet, and those are always frustrating.  “You’re telling me you’re going to tell me something but you’re not actually telling me anything?!”

So . . . um . . .well, the weather’s been pleasant.  It’s hot during the day, but the mornings are nice.  Last night, I got home from work and Justin and I went grocery shopping to replace things like bread and milk that were emptied out while his family was in town.  He went home to put the food away and I went to Zumba and had a blast shaking my booty.  And then I came home, showered, and went downstairs to make banana bread out of the bananas going bad on the counter.  I have no idea if it turned out because I put walnuts in there and they don’t cooperate with me.  And then I made sautéed apples with some of the many apples in bowls in the kitchen.  I used 8 of them (they’re really little) but I think we still have 8 left.  The ones I cooked turned out really yummy, though.  They’re like the apples you can get from Cracker Barrel.  Not great on calories, but ooooooh, so good.  And Justin made pancakes that nearly exploded with fluffiness.  Our only explanation is that he opened a new container of baking powder and the old one must have been really old.

And now I’m hungry.  Great.

Hey, does your calendar say “Juneteenth” on the 19th, too?  Apparently it’s actually a pretty significant holiday (in 36 states) but I’d never heard of it.  Have you?

I feel so much better today!  I’m eating real food!  My brain is functioning correctly!  It’s a wonderful day. 

Plus, hey!  It’s already Tuesday!  I’m going to see my parents over the weekend and I am So! Excited! to see them it’s hard to say.  And then we’re going to make a second attempt at going to the Ren Faire and I’ve been looking forward to that for several months.  I’m trying to figure out where I’m going to get my henna tatoo this year.  I get one every time we go.  Last time (in 2008) I got a rather large fairy on my shoulders.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do this year, but I’d like it to be in a place where I can actually see it without a mirror.

In other news, my pants are too big.  The pants I wore yesterday were too big, too.  But I thought these fit!  I’m going to have to wash them “wrong” and see if I can get them to shrink a little bit because this is getting silly.  It’s easier when shirts don’t fit quite right.  When pants don’t fit, they have a tendancy to try to fall off!!

Such a bother. 

I’m going to go outside and see if it’s as nice out as I think it is!  Cheers!

But yeah.  If you haven’t eaten anything for a couple days, my advice to you is not to start out by eating tuna noodle casserole.  It’s absolutely delicious, but your stomach will not thank you.  TRUST ME.

I’m back at work today, though.  I’ve been tempted more than once to go back home — when my alarm was ringing, when I was pulling out of the driveway, when I was walking all the way across the parking lot, when I was staring at my computer trying to figure out what I was doing, when I was sitting outside on lunch enjoying the beautiful weather . . . .  I think it’s a testament to my strong will that I’m still sitting here.

Not getting much work done.  But I’m here.

I think I had a point when I started, but it totally excapes me now.  I guess it was just to let you know that we’re starting to feel better.  And I should get back to work.

I actually have A LOT more to talk about filing, but I’m going to take it elsewhere.  I’ve got the website for my organizing business, so I’m going to post all these over on that site.  And I’ll link to it from here so you can know that I’ve written something, but I won’t post it here so you don’t have be completely excited totally bored overwhelmed by it over here.

I’m writing about it because I’m helping a client through this process right now and it’s helpful for me to write it down so I can work through the whole thing.  Paperwork can be really complicated, so it’s nice to be able to really focus on an aspect of it at a time, work through my thoughts, and get them down really clearly.  But I recognize that it’s not always terribly interesting to read.

I recognize it, but I don’t always understand it.   I mean, how can that not be interesting?

Anyway.  Welcome to the beginning of May, if you somehow missed that change-over.  Did April go by really quickly for anyone else?  And May looks like it’s going to be a very busy month for me.  We had plans to go to the Ren Faire in Atlanta last weekend, but stuck around the house so Justin could be sick at home instead of on the road.  He’s starting to do better, now that we’re on day 7 of him being sick.  Day 8?  MANY days. 

In other news:

• Tuesday is my sister-in-law’s birthday, so we’re trying to figure out how to celebrate that with her when she’s busy celebrating it with all of her college friends.  Plus, she needs to do laundry, so she’s got to come visit.  Mwha-ha-ha-ha!
• My parents are going to be within 6 driving-hours from our house all next week, so on Wednesday we’re going to go meet them half-way between for dinner. 
• Sometime in the next couple weeks my mother-in-law, step-father-in-law, and grandma-in-law are all coming to visit and pack up my sister-in-law for the summer break.  Apparently they may or may not be bringing their adorable puppy.    I don’t know when they’re arriving or for how long they’re staying.
• One of these weekends we’re hoping to go to Myrtle Beach to meet up with a couple friends.   I have no idea which weekend this is happening.
• Some local friends of ours are moving and they’re going to need help moving, I believe, on the 22nd, if we’re in town.
• And if there’s a free weekend somewhere in there, we’re still hoping to make it up to the Ren Faire.

Why does it all have to happen in May?!

Plus, of course, there’s the usual craziness with work.  We’re completing one or two projects each week this month.  Compare that to next month, when we’re planning to complete three in the entire month.  Who creates this schedule?!  Drunken baboons?

 But whatever.  Life is good!  It’s pouring down rain today and even that is good because it’s better than the 85% humidity and burning hot sunshine that we had yesterday.  And I remembered my umbrella.  And I got to talk with both of my parents last night and that was fantastic!  And there was a new Castle when we weren’t expecting one.

So life is busy, but life is good, and I’m feeling happy!  I think I’ll go for a walk. 

You might need to click on it to make it big enough to read

What do you think?  Did I miss something that you noticed?

Justin and I went for a bike ride this evening.  We rode all the way to the end of our road, ordered a pizza, ate it at a table outside, and rode home.  It was fantastic!  It took up most of our evening, but I can’t think of a better way to have spent the time.  Over an hour and a half of dedicated time to spend with Justin?  WIN!

Plus I love riding my bike, but I don’t do it nearly often enough.  My backside, unfortunately, is reminding me why that is the case.  So much pain!

I took 9 pills just now as I’m getting ready to go to sleep:  3 calcium, 2 fish oil, 1 multivitamin, 1 for RLS, and 2 Advil.  I remember being so excited when I got off all my asthma medications.  For the first time in a very long time, I wasn’t medicated!  But I’m pretty sure I’m more healthy now, taking all these pills, than I was then.

I had a difficult brain day on Sunday.  Do you know what I’m talking about?  Where you spent most of the day feeling like you need to cry, but no idea why?  I cried because I didn’t know why I felt like crying.  I cried because Justin’s office was messy.  I nearly cried at church when friends mentioned maybe having people over for dinner.  I nearly cried in the middle of my massage.

Ooooooh.  Massage.  My massage was wonderful.  I hadn’t had one in such a long time and my muscles are so tense.  She was able to rub a lot of that out, but I know that most of it will need more work than that to get them loosened up.  My shoulder-blades are still tender from the work she did on them.  But it was totally worth it!

And then I went home and listened to laundry washing and thought that I should be doing something other than laying on the bed feeling like crying.

I cried on Saturday, too.  We stopped at Lowe’s so we could pick up a few things and I put my foot into knee-high mud boot.  The kind like we used to have as kids, remember?  Except this one was white and cute and I wanted to see if it would fit.

No.  It didn’t fit.  I got my calf most of the way into it and then it suctioned onto my leg.  My calf formed a seal with the plastic material of the boot and created suction.  I couldn’t get it off.  Justin was nearby and I called out to him:  “I have a problem.”  “You sure do,” he said and came over to help me.  And the guy at the key cutting counter just laughed at us because we couldn’t pull the boot off.

I found a rolling stair-step ladder to sit on so I could try to pry the boot off, and then the panic started to set in.  I couldn’t get it off!  My foot was trapped!  The air was going to push out from the boot and my foot was going to turn black and fall off!  (Did you know I’m a tiny bit claustrophobic?)  Justin assures me that we would have cut the boot off my leg before that would have happened, but I still sat there on the step *freaking out* about the boot stuck on my foot.

And eventually we were able to get it off just by pulling at it and loosening the top away from my leg and just plain persistence.  And I sat there with tears running down my face because I had been so worried about it.  A woman came down the aisle and turned to look at us and gave a really worried look before backing away.  “We’re okay,” I said, but I’m not sure she heard me.

No more trying on boots for a while.

But we’re doing good today!  I wore my engagement ring for the first time in a very long time.  It finally fits without cutting off circulation!  The wedding band is still slightly too small, but I got to wear my sapphire today!  It makes me really happy that I can wear that again.

And that’s a rough idea of what it’s like in my brain lately.  Now, I’m going to sleep.

I have been up to things though.  I’ve been working on switching things around for spring.  Saturday afternoon I reorganized the porch closet so I could get to the gardening tools and the grill.   I reorganized the dining room closet to move the scarves and mittens into storage and the picnic supplies and bicycle helmets up front.  I reorganized the hamper drawer at the bottom of the steps, packing away the ice scraper and getting the sun screen, bug spray, and umbrellas up and accessible.  And while I was at it, I reorganized under the kitchen sink because it was just a mess and I wanted to be able to grab Windex without crawling all the way to the back of the cabinet.

Yesterday I organized 3 months of receipts, checking them against the categories they were marked as in my budgeting and finding out how many I’m still missing (about 5, for the whole 3 months).  It’s a long task, but rewarding in the end, when I’ve got envelope after envelope of receipts all organized and in rows.  It makes it really easy, come tax time.  I’ve got everything marked down in my finance program on my computer, so I can search for whatever I need, and then I can go to the envelope for that month and look for the physical receipt and read that.  If I need a receipt, I can find it in under 5 minutes.  It’s a system that requires constant maintenance, but one that can really pay off in the end.

I finished my book for March, but I’m not sure yet what I’d like to read for April.  I’ve got to go look through my bookshelf and see what I haven’t read yet, see if anything sparks any interest.  The last book wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t as good as some of his others.  Maybe I should do a book review for each book I read?  It would be good for my LibraryThing account.  And my GoodReads account, too.  And if I decide to get rid of the book, it’d be good for my BookMooch account, too.

I have a lot of online book-related accounts . . . .

I lost 2 more pounds last week, bringing my current total weight loss to 16 pounds.  I’m very excited about that.

I’ve been playing Final Fantasy XIII for the last couple weeks, off and on.  It’s a BEAUTIFUL game and I’m having a really wonderful time playing it.  It is, so far, the only game we have for our PS3, but that’s because we bought it to play BluRay discs on, and not for playing video games.  But let me tell you, this game is AMAZINGLY beautiful.  I could sit there just looking at the pretty pictures for hours and be perfectly content.  But there’s also game play and that makes it even better!

I worked a full day again on Friday because they switched up the schedule on me and now I’m behind on a couple of projects.  It’s frustrating.  I keep hoping that I’ll finally catch up to everything, and then they go and move things on me.  I’m getting really frustrated with working more than 40 hours a week.

My allergies are starting to pick up. It’s about the same time as last year, so I’m not terribly surprised.  My eyes itch.  I sneeze a lot.  I’m tired.  I think the grass is out to get me.

And these are just a glimpse of the things that I’m ready to talk about.  There are other things, like improvements to our bedroom and the yard and my photo collection, that I’m not ready to talk about yet because I want to have everything finished before I talk about it.  But we’re making good progress on those things and I hope to have more news on those soon.

Until then, I just have this one last thing for today:

Two years ago today, I stood on shaking knees and pinched toes with sweat dripping down the middle of my back, between friends and family on one side and a gazebo on the other, with candles that kept being blown out by the wind, across from the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, who promised to support and protect me, and who slid a ring as far as it could go onto my stress-swollen finger.  We danced our first dance to music I can’t remember, and his grandfather cut in before the end of the song.  We celebrated and smiled and danced and ate and had a wonderful time with our most precious friends and family.  And then we cleaned up and went home before the rain started.

Since then, we’ve gone through sicknesses and job troubles, celebrations and parties, days when communication failed and days when we worked together in prefect synchronization, days when there wasn’t enough money and days when there was more money than we expected, days when the world in my head didn’t make sense, but he stuck beside me anyway, days when we didn’t have the strength to get out of bed, but we pulled and pushed each other up and stood on our feet and helped each other make it through the day.

People keep making comments about us being newlyweds and honeymooning and that the glow will eventually fade, but we believe that the honeymoon is the rest of the marriage and that we’re the ones actually doing it right.  He brings me flowers when he goes to the grocery store.  I wake him up in the morning with cuddles and kisses.  We call each other at noon and again when we leave work, and sometimes more than that just to hear each other talk.

I love you, Justin Barnett, and I am so happy to be your wife!  Let’s keep it going for another 80 years or so!

I step over a river to go through the gate and into work, trying to keep my shoes dry.  I hold my umbrella over my head, angled to the slant of the rain.  It’s brightly colored polka-dots coordinate wonderfully with the monochromatic polka dots on my skirt.  An elbow on my umbrella is broken and it hangs down limply like a broken wing.  Water drips off the edges of my umbrella and I hope the book in my purse isn’t getting wet.

Wind picks up my hair and blows it into my face and I have to stop and brush it out of my eyes before I keep walking.  I’m running a little late because I had to stop for a train, but if I walk half-blind, I’ll step into a puddle.  My shoes are wet already, soaking through to my socks.  When I get up to my desk, I’ll have to set them in front of the space heater under my desk for a while.

It’s a dark morning, this close to Daylight Savings, and I’m sure this rain is going to last all day.  It’s good for the grass.  I can see the colors changing when I drive through the marsh—a hint of pale green creeping into the golden and gray grass growing there.  A fire went through there earlier this week, burning a portion of the dry grass.  I suspect it was started by a careless commuter’s cigarette, but I’m hesitant to say that it’s a bad thing.  The marsh burns every year and I think it’s part of the natural cycle of that environment.

But there won’t be any burning this morning.  Only mud puddles from this rain.

There was a flower blooming in the flowerbed outside my house this morning.  It wasn’t there yesterday, but suddenly this morning:  Flower!  I hope this rain helps bring on more blossoms.  I really need to get out and cut down last year’s pampas grass and the branches off the crepe myrtle trees, but it’s not going to happen today.

I reach the door of my building, collapse my umbrella and shake off the rain.  My toes are cold from the damp and I’m looking forward to that space heater.  It’s going to be a long day.  I’m running on too little sleep and I have a lot of complicated work to finish and several meetings to attend.  My mother in law will be at the house when I get home.

But for right now, I’m going to go clock into work and go make myself some warm tea and oatmeal.  Put my shoes and toes in front of the space heater.  Hang my wounded umbrella on the wall.

And get started on my day.